Fear

Fear...

Oh, the fear that surrounds this picture.  This was the first time since her birth, I had gotten to see Ellie.  The night Ellie was born, she was whisked away and admitted to the NICU due to difficulty breathing.  Fear had already crept into our lives, and even though David and I didn't verbally say it, we knew something was wrong with our precious little girl...both of us knew it in our hearts.

Ellie was given an IV antibiotic for fear of infection, and in the NICU one of the quickest, most accurate places for IVs is in the head.  For new moms and dads it is terrifying, and it causes more fear. She also had an ng feeding tube placed in her nose because she had trouble eating.  I can remember my feelings here, and although I tried to be strong, I honestly felt one thing...numb.  

How had things gone from being so incredibly happy, exciting, and good to terrifying, shocking and bad?

Even though fear surrounds this picture, there is something deeper and stronger going on here.  I look at it now, and I see love...deep love.  I was holding on to Ellie so tightly because of the unconditional, never ending, love I have for her, and I know David saw that when he took it.  Love will always conquer fear.  There is fight in this picture, both in Ellie and in me.  I can see now, that we both were preparing to fight whatever was ahead, and face it head on.  Looking at it now, I wouldn't title it Fear, but rather, Bring it...