1st Grade.
It's a funny feeling to be on the eve of yet another first day of school for Ellie. She's been so excited about school starting back, and honestly I have too. The surreal feeling is that again, I have complete peace. Her teachers are incredible, and I mean absolutely incredible. It's crazy to say that after only talking with them for 2 hours, but I just know it's true.
I know this year the demands and rigor will increase, but if there's one thing I've learned along this crazy ride it's that we will make it through. Life throws all kinds of curve balls. Things change. We adapt. We re-group. We move onward. And we will make it.
Anxiety has definitely increased in Ellie. Repetitive, rhetorical questions are frequent. She has been more food focused lately. All of which makes me fearful. Living with PWS often feels like you're waiting...
Waiting for the school to call.
Waiting for an epic meltdown to occur.
Waiting for a therapy to not go well.
Waiting for a friend to be mean or unkind.
Waiting for food to be stolen.
Waiting for behavior to change.
Waiting for the "elephant in the room" to come bursting into our life unannounced...the hunger.
There is perspective gained as Ellie grows older. And daily I have to choose not to let all these fearful "what ifs" and "whens" consume my thoughts, and dictate my life. I remember David saying early on, "We'll be ok and we'll get through whatever comes our way." I kinda laughed, thinking how could he be so sure?! But as every week and month pass I see more of what he means. Every day it's a choice to live this way, and some days I literally have to verbally tell these fears and feelings to get the heck away from me.
I truly believe that Ellie was born for an amazingly great, and bigger purpose than I can wrap my head around sometimes. She's in a unique position to impact others and change this world. So is her brother. Every time I see Mac interact with her, I just know it. So, as they take on 1st grade and 2K my hope is that they will see the confidence that their parents have to help them through whatever this life throws our way. My hope is that they'll adapt, overcome, and not live in fear. Here's to another great year of growth, perseverance, and gratitude.
